I'll admit, I almost missed sending out an email today.
It wasn't that I didn't have a host of good topics, it was rather about finding the "right" topic. I got caught up in the total energy surrounding what was "best" instead of just allowing the email to flow. I wanted to judge what was being said and no matter what came out, I wasn't satisfied.
I didn't love what I was doing today at all. I got caught up in games which I didn't want to play. At times I felt very unheard. I was out of my flow and starting to allow myself to be sucked back in. As the day wore on, I became increasingly aware that I'd been shown a different world, one that I actually wanted to participate in, over the past couple of days. One in which I liked to be. One in which I wasn't so concerned with what people thought or believed because I trusted that the Universe was going to send me the people that I was meant to have around me. I believed that the vortex I was creating was something wonderful and unique and deeply satisfying. I had allowed myself to leave that wonderful state and was currently residing in "re-cycling" land where it's just another shade of the same dysfunctional pattern.
So I made a simple decision. I was going to sit down and discuss whatever came into my head and hit "send". I wasn't going to control it or over-analyze it or find fault with it. I was just going to trust that my words would fall on the right ears today. I was going to believe in myself. I was going to love myself enough to do this.
Today someone sent me an email that spoke about becoming the embodiment of love. I maybe didn't read the whole email or maybe just it didn't resonate with me but I came away with one key understanding. I cannot become the embodiment of love if it does not come from within. My understanding of love is limited by my ability to love myself because it has to start with me. I am the first piece of the puzzle. As are you and you and you... to infinity.
